Ballad Of Bodacious Lyrics By Primus

Bodacious am a whole lotta' bull
over nineteen hundred pounds.
He's born in Galry, Oklahoma
and he's the baddest sonsabitch around
if a Burma bull ever were a super star
then Bodacious just might be.
He's a cream colored, beefy brawn,
full-fledged, four footed bovine celebrity.

Who's gonna ride Bodacious?
Who's gonna tame him down?
Look out for Bodacious,
he's bound to hold his ground.
Here comes Bodacious,
ya'll just step aside.
Big and bad Bodacious
takes a toll from those who ride.

Young Bo met a man named Tuff Hedeman
at the start of his buckin' spree
and Tuff became one of the few to make the whistle
bkac in Nineteen Ninety Three.

Tuff tried to ride Bo again at the finals
in Nineteen Ninety Five.
Bodacious had got a little older and wiser
Tuff barely came out alive.

The Return Of Satington Willoughby Lyrics By Primus

Fellow colleagues, distinguished members of the press, ladies and gentlemen
I would like to take this opportunity to personally and humbly thank each and every one of you
For joining us at this particular event
It is my hope that we can utilize this meeting of the minds
To successfully convey the essence of our platform to you, a grand and noble audience

As I look out among the faces, I reflect
Taking console in the words of Franklin Delano Roosevelt who said,
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself"

Paranoia is a disease unto itself, and may I add, the person standing next to you
May not be who they appear to be, so take precaution

A mind is a terrible thing to waste, this is true
Many a young person has fallen prey to the substances that alter the perspective
Of any right thinking individual
The problem with the youth today is, because of their inexperience with the world,
They cannot attempt to grasp the ideals set forth by myself and those who preceded me
But, as history has show, they will come around and embrace our philosophies
And become model citizens in their own right, God Bless this great nation

Professor Nutbutter's House Of Treats Lyrics By Primus

C'mon kiddies gather round. Who's your foremost friend in town?
From main to maple the name resounds, Professor Nutbutter.
He's the one, the humble one, the Barkley County prodigal son.
Here to serve only you, Professor Nutbutter.
At old Nutbutter's house of treats from jellied jams to sacks of sweets,
There's creamy and nutatious spreads for all.
Chemist, master of entomology the professor for a modest fee
Will cure what ails you, garunteed Professor Nutbutter.
It's alright, don't fear the worm.
C'mon kiddies don't be shy be youthful til the day you die.
The man the myth, the magic of Professor Nutbutter.
He's the one the only one the Meeklybville prodigal son.
Here to help us with ourselves, Professor Nutbutter
It's alright to fear the worm.

Amos Moses Lyrics By Primus

Amos Moses was a Cajun.
And lived by himself in the swamp
Hunting alligator for a living.
Knock 'em on the head with a stump
The Louisiana law's gonna get you, Amos
It ain't legal hunting alligator down in the swamp, boy

Now everybody blamed his old man
for raising him mean as a snake
When Amos Moses was a boy,
his Daddy would use him as alligator bait
Tie a rope around his waist,
throw him in the swamp
Alligator bait on the Louisiana bayou

Just about 45 minutes
southeast of Tipidow, Louisiana
There lived a man called Duck Bill Sam
and his pretty wife Hannah
They raised up a son that could
eat up his weight in groceries
Named him after a man of the cloth.
They called him Amos Moses

Now folks in South Louisiana
said Amos was a helluva man
He could trap the biggest, meanest alligator.
He only had to use one hand
That's all he got left
'cause the alligator bit him. Ha ha!
Left arm gone clean up to the elbow

Just about 45 minutes
southeast of Tipidow, Louisiana
There lived a man called Duck Bill Sam
and his pretty wife Hannah
They raised up a son that could
eat up his weight in groceries
Named him after a man of the cloth.
They called him Amos Moses

Here comes Amos
And you should have seen his pretty wife, Hannah

Well, the Sheriff got wind that
Amos was in the swamp hunting alligator skin
So he hid in the swamp, "I'm gonna get you boy."
He never did come out again.

Well, I wonder where the Louisiana Sheriff went to?
Sure can get lost in the Louisiana bayou (3X)

Shake Hands With Beef Lyrics By Primus

There's a time for lies
And a time for truth
I say, eye for an eye
Eye for a tooth

When I roamed young
I'd scavenge around
Every nook and cranny
Of our little town

It's nice, so nice, to be

Pull out the cannon boys
Steal us some wine
Puff Tijuana Smalls
SHAKE HANDS WITH BEEF

She's so fine
She's so sweet
Mom and Pop they raised her
On huge slabs of meat

She's fine

A man of nine
Water derby day
Twenty six pumps
On a Crossman
And it's time to play

It's nice, so nice, to be

Pull out the cannon boys
Steal us some wine
Puff Tijuana Smalls
SHAKE HANDS WITH BEEF

Groundhog's Day Lyrics By Primus

When I woke up this mornin' I felt a pang.
I was hungerin' for some apple pie.
Stumble in the bathroom, hung my hog a little bit.
Washed the sleep out of my eye.
Oh yeah, it's gonna be a fine day.
Scratched myself a bit.
Poured me out a bowl-a corn chex.
Closest thing I could find to apple pie.
Lingerin' taste of toothpaste
Made the milk go down a bit funny.
But you know, them chex they do satisfy.
Oh yeah, this'll be a fine day.
So, after my mornin' rise-n-shine and eat-n-clean.
Had my mind set to hit them streets.
Drizzle from the night left cold puddles out.
Had my black stomp-boots on my feet.
It's my day.

Since I was in kneepants my pop had tried to make me realize.
If I set my mind down to it I could be a big man in the public eye.
So with my big blue collar on, I set out to find the easy way.
What an ice cold bath it was when I found you had to pay to play.
To taste the taste it's a tease that never would subside.
The taste is strong but soured by my learned eyes.
Well, if a woodchuck could chuck wood, he'd get down on his knees to pray.
This little snappy boy might see the light this ground hog's day.

The Ol' Diamond Back Sturgeon (fisherman's Chronicles, Part 3) Lyrics By Primus

The old diamondback sturgeon came swimmin' along
Minding his business one day
Rooting and sniffing and urging to spawn
In the mud flats of San Pablo Bay

A scent came around so he followed his snout
He found what was to his surprise
A golden morsel, a tidbit, a tight bunch of grass shrimp
Was there right before this buck's eyes

He circle round twice and he took a big whiff
Then sucked up this savory meal
Then came a jolt and to the diamondback's surprise
Through his lips cut the cold, barbed steel

In a panic the old diamondback sped to the north
He sped to the east, west and south
But the harder he swam, he still could not break free
From the "tugging" that pulled at his mouth

The old diamondback sturgeon came swimmin' along
Minding his business one day